bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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