just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
