omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
