Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
