Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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