Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
soo... how was my night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
