yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
is wine microwaveable?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
