party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize