Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
