the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
