Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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