is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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