NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
