I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
