only if we run a train.
done.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
