my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
