Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
