If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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