while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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