Too much gin, very little bucket
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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