careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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