Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
