I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
