I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize