Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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