New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
