like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
