D3 body, D1 cock
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize