can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
