Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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