Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
