Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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