no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
