she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
