SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
