I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
