Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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