I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
