Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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