Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
