Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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