what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
