She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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