guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think I died a long time ago.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
