I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
