i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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