Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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