FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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