goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize