she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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