mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I puked a lego.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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