i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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