I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
