When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
