How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
