What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize