just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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