I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
