Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When are your genitals available?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
