hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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