At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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