Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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