oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The adults are the big ones right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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