I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
