Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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