no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
