5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize