Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
