we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
