I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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