i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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