I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize