he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
