white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
