ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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