google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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