I'm going to jail i love you
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
