last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
How's work?
Spinning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize