Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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