yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
