Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
