let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
