You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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