My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
